I give Paul a hug as I get ready to leave.  He smiles, pats me on the back and says, "Go.  Go and make amends.  Go and be the father you were meant to be.  The man you were meant to be.  The man God made you to be.  We're all a reflection of Him.  Especially as a father.  Be a reflection of Him and seek Him more.  Find Him in your kids, in your wife.  In the relationships that you're going to rebuild."  

 

I can tell he's preaching now but I humor him.  This is what he was put on this earth to do.  Guide others.  Lead others.  Show others "The Way."  I thank him again and get in the car.

 

The miles are drifiting away behind me, the road ahead once again seems long.  I see the horizon in the distance and can't help but feel a new sense of purpose.  Something new is driving me now.  

 

Paul talked a lot about his relationship with God last night and this morning.  I'd always known about God but never really focused my attention on living a life that reflected who He was.  Paul spoke the night before about how being a follower of God meant that things were different.  Goals were different and agendas were different.  How the things we do are not to bring us fame but to bring Him fame.  To show others His goodness and be a reflection of Him here on earth.  I listened.  Intently.  I liked what I heard and felt something inside me change as we prayed together.  He brought me back.  I could see the light shining inside and out.  This night changed me.  This night changed everything.

I caught my reflection in the gas station window as I stopped to fill the tank.  I looked different. I felt different.  I felt changed.  I felt thankful.  This weight, this burden of all of it was just lifted off my shoulders.  I smiled at the reflection and for the first time in while, felt new.  

 

I lifted the receiver and dropped a quarter in the phone on the wall.  Dialed a number and waited.  After three rings, Sarah's voice answered. "Hello?"

Relection of You.  All that we do, God let it be a reflection of You.  

 

This song, I remember, was recorded, or at least started, at a very late night session.  Scotty had come up with the great opening piano line that we loved, then we just went from there.  This song is one of my favorites on the album.  I love the message, how it's presented and the groove.  It was the last song that we finished on the album.  I remember when we did the lead vocals, I was really hesitant with them.  I didn't think I got it.  Wasn't sure they were right.  I remember sitting on the plane on the flight back and saying to myself, "I'm going to have to come back and resing that one.  It didn't feel right."  Scotty sent me the roughs a few weeks later and man was I wrong!  So good.  I am so pleased with the way it turned out.  Really feels great, it's the closest song to a worship song that we have on the record.  

 

Take time to dig into the devotional below.  The message here is so important, it's why Jesus came here.  He came here to teach us how to be a reflection of Him.  How to be His hands and feet here on earth.  Take time today to be a reflection of Jesus.

I freeze. The next five seconds feel like an eternity.  My thoughts are racing through my head.  Do I hang up? Do I say hello?  Do I drop the phone and run?  I breath in. Breath out.  Then manage to get out, "....Sarah?" She sighs and says, "Hello Tom.  What's up?"  I say, "Um...I'm in the middle of a long trip out there.  Should be there in a few days, do you have time to talk when I get there. I really need to sit down with you and explain a few things. Talk things through."  Silence.  The kind that makes time stop.  Then.  "Well, I'm really busy with work and the kids but text me when you get into town and we'll see what we can set up."  My heart leaps.  "OK." I say. "Sounds great, thank you." She says goodbye and hangs up the phone.

 

I walk back to the car and get in.  Now it will be a game of trying to find the words to say.  I just want to ask if we can start over, rewind time.  Unfortunately, not that easy.  Too many mistakes have been made.  I want to be a good man, a better father, a better husband. I just want to say to her I'm here now, can we take the past and push it aside.  Don't give up on me.  Don't give up on what we have.  We can turn this around.  

 

It's easy to say when it's only the windshield listening as I'm driving down the highway.  It will be a different story in a few days.  

 

I turn off and find a roadside motel and book a room for the night.  I lie on the bed and open the nightstand drawer.  In it there's a Bible.  I smile and think of Paul. HIs life, his work, his family, his words.  I grab the book and open it up.  I start with the book of John.  It was 9pm when I started reading, I think I fell asleep around 3am.  I couldn't stop.  This love that this man Jesus exhibited.  This unconditional love.  The way that he spoke, acted, handled every situation.  This is what I've been longing for.  This is who I want to be. 

 

There are days in life when things just change.  Days that you can pick out of your own life's history where you can say, "That day changed everything."  This was one of those days, one of those nights.  Things changed that night.  Paul's words resonated in my head.  His words said surrender.  Love. Give hope. Surrender. 

 

So I did. I surrendered it all.  My work, my time, my life, my family, my wife.  All of it.  I couldn't hold onto it anymore. I've been trying to control everything.  Little did I know that I needed to surrender all of it first.  Then things will start to come together.  We as humans get so wrapped up in our own little worlds, thinking everything is about us.  It's not.  Everything is about others.  Serving others. Helping others. Giving others a chance.  That's what this is all about.  

 

I wake up the next morning different.  I can feel something in my soul that I've never felt before.  

 

Then I hear a knock on the hotel room door.

 

Thanks for being here.  We're 8 days in and it's been so great to hang with you for this long.  We have 3 more days to go.  Are you up for it ?!?

 

Today.  We're talking about God, never giving up on us.  Never letting go.  For this song I remember us sitting in a restaurant listening to Wing's "Live & Let Die".  Eating ribs and listening to that song just brought on a bunch of ideas for this arrangement.   This song has always been a rockin tune but I think we took it to another level on this recording.  The message is simple, God never gives up. Ever.  I think we give up on Him sometimes, but He never gives up on us.  Ever.  Today, listening through the song, get wrapped up in the guitars & the horns and the old school-ness of it all but don't miss the message.  Don't miss how much God loves you today.  No matter what you're struggling with, He's here with us. Never giving up. Never letting go.