CHAPTER 1: 

Love Is Here

 

It's cold this morning. I can feel the frost on the handle of the car as i pull it to open the door.  I sit behind the wheel and my breath clouds my vision as I exhale.  This journey, this trip, will be unlike any other.  The road ahead is long, I know that, but I'm ready to take it. I turn the engine over and shift the car into drive.   I hear the crackle of the sand under the tires as I pull onto the highway.

 

I head towards a nearby diner.  Coffee.  Breakfast.  The little things make the big things easier.  The waitress who serves me is helpful.  A warm, welcoming smile greets me as I sit down.  She walks over and takes my order. I hear the clank of silverware, the low rumble of conversation in other booths.  Other lives working through the problems of life, the joys of life.  My mind wanders as I gaze out the window.  I finish my meal and I turn towards the waitress as she brings the check, "Long day ahead of you?" she asks.  I say yeah and she cracks that smile again.  "Don't worry, each one of us is on our own journey, just be thankful that we're not alone."  I ask what she means.  "We're all in this together, there's nothing that will happen to you today that hasn't happened to someone before."  Diner waitress wisdom.  I smile and nod my head.  She continues, "There's a love that holds it all together, we all have access to it, just some of us don't want to let it in."  She's right, I know that for sure.  I thank her again for the meal, tip her well and head out the door.  As I leave, she calls to me and says, "Hey, don't forget, the love, that love I was talking about, that love is here."  She waves her arm around in a circle over her head, "it's all around us."  I smile, thank her again and walk out the door shaking my head.  What does she mean?  

 

I get back in the car and pull out of the driveway, a car races by me in the left lane...I follow slowly behind.  Here we go.

 

 

So glad you're on this journey with us.  

     It wasn't long before the rain started.  Long streams of it pushing against the windshield as I drive.  I think secretly I was hoping that I'd have to turn back.  You see, when you face something really difficult, you get scared.  You don't want it to happen.  You just want it to go away.  Well that's not happening here.  There's no going back.  My mind wanders as my car coasts along this mirror of a highway.  I think of better times, times when we were together.  I miss her so much, I'm not sure what happened. That's what part of this is about.  Is there redemption?  Is there a way to regain what was lost?

 

     The highway leads me around a bend and a sharp corner opens up to the ocean on my right hand side and a mountain on my left.  I can see past the guardrail, the waves crash up against the stones.  Waves crash into the crevices and jet the water into the air.  I've always loved the ocean.  I've always loved the sound of the waves.  My life has turned into this stormy sea.  The business, the work, the responsibility, all played a part in where I am today.  My palms get sweaty as i remember all the late nights, all the birthday parties missed, the arguments, the words that I wish could be thrown into this ocean on my right and drowned.  Wouldn't it be nice to just let the undertow pull them out and let them never be heard again.  Too easy.  Life doesn't work that way.  A word spoken is out there. My father always told me to choose my words carefully, to think before speaking.  The time lost can't be reclaimed. The fractures in a relationship, they are hard to heal.

 

     I can feel the wheels slide underneath me as the car begins the drift.  There's something about hydroplaning that leaves you feeling hopeless. That feeling matches my emotions right now.   As i drift to the left, the oncoming truck in the other lane lays on his horn.....

 

 

Thanks for stopping back in.  Great to see you again.